Bridge me.

There are a few ideas and thoughts that rest in my mind on a daily basis: invisible dog leashes, stores that sell only cereal and have a cereal bar, the shoes from back to the future 2, and most importantly… A life with more bridges. I think that the bridge is basically any solution to most city problems.

I live in Los Angeles and I witness the daily human congestion. I always tell my friends and anyone who will listen “if a bridge were here there would be no problems!” Seriously, think about it. I want you to look at any problematic intersection and ask yourself, could a bridge solve a problem here? I’m willing to bet the answer is yes.

Let’s not forget that buildings are building UP so why can’t sidewalks? How do you build a sidewalk up you may ask… yes, it’s a bridge. Also, the view from a bridge is better.

This brings me to the ingenious idea of the day. I just finished reading a Yahoo article that said Madison Square Garden is doing some renovations by the year 2013. One of the main things they’re putting in – yes, a bridge. A bridge is going to be hanging high above hockey and basketball games for more spectators.

Forget all of the crazy bad things that could happen on the bridge, just think of how great bridges are. It’s like the Madison Square Garden president Hank Ratner and I share the thought of bridge, I invite you to share this thought.

Here is the LINK for the article.

The Spork

The Spork. If you’ve forgotten it’s a half spoon half fork and it seems to only be utilized in kids lunchrooms. Also, it’s also a flimsy plasticy excuse of a utensil. Come to think of it, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anything other than a plastic spork.

I have exhausted way to much time thinking about this. What am I thinking about? Well, I can’t seem to think of a reason not to use sporks. They seem so obviously convenient that I don’t know the downfall, it’s kind of like hybrid cars. It just makes sense.

I am here to plant the spork seed in your mind. Let it germinate and eventually blossom into a reality. The next time you’re eating stir fry with rice you will absolutely appreciate a half spoon half fork. And if you can think of the downside of this nifty concoction, I’d love to hear it because I got nothing.

Wow. Here is the wikipedia history of the spork (gotta be true) apparently it’s also called a “foon”

If you want to purchase one for Christmas or Thanksgiving: Ten Piece Set!

Friday Lyrics: 2012 by Jay Sean

This guy is channeling his inner Mayan. I was wondering when someone would try to replicate a Prince-esque “Party like it’s 1999” song, and this guy is sort of doing it. This song is just so weird I had to post the lyrics. Maybe it’s not that it’s weird but it’s just funny to read the lyrics sans music.

Apparently this is a pretty popular song. I give you “2012” Jay Sean ft. Nikki Minaj - enjoy them trying to remind us that we should party like it’s 2012!!

link to listen RIGHT HERE

Ohh ohh 2-0-1-2 ohh-yeah
It’s alright, Oh It’s alright
You’d know what they say
Life ain’t always easy everyday
With five us so forget a day
It all about tonight at the school start
A riot a-riot be red ohh
Bottle poppin til we cant stand
We keep rockn til 6 am

New York to london over to Japan
Turn it up .. Turn It Up..
Mash it up
We gonna party like
Party like
Like its the end of the world
We gonna party like
Like it’s 2012
You Know that it doesn’t matter
As long as we got each other

Turn it up.. Turn it up ..
Mash it up
It ain’t the end of the world
Ohhhhhhhhhhh
We gonna live like it’s the end of the world
We gonna party like
Ohhhhhhhhhhh
Turn it up…
Turn it up…
Match it up
It ain’t the end of the world

[Nicki Minaj]

Simile’s, metaphors and we pop pills
Sick flow inundated with the doc bills
Work hard, now we know how to top bills
In the middle of the street doing cartwheels
Lot of them tryna do it but its not real
Wasn’t a rapper then I coulda got a pop deal
White clothes in a hot pink hot wheels
Lot of bottles and a lot of booty cocktails
Uh, days of our lives
You wink it goes by
So we’ll just get it with no edison
Jay Sean 2012 lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/jay-sean-2012-lyrics.html

Anything goes so no time for closed minds
And free my lil weezy
And lets just get right
Young Money, Cash Money in the building
Lets go the World ends tonight

Have a drink with me and let make tonight
Go down In history..
In history
Yeahh
Lets make belive its the last 24 hours
And this whole world is ours eternally, eternally (hey)

Heyyyyy bottle poppin til we cant stand
We keep rockn til 6 am New York

New york to london over to Japan
Turn it up ..
Turn It Up..
Match it up
We gonna party like
Party Night like, like it’s the end of the world
We gonna party night like it’s 2012
You Know that it doesn’t matter as long as we got each other

Turn it up.. Turn it up ..
Match it up It ain’t the end of the world ohhhhhhhhhhh

(nooo)
No im not gonna follow
Anything that they say anymore
And its never too late to start again
So lets start it with right here and right now

Party like, likes its the end of the world
We gonna party like, like its 2012
You know that it doesn’t matter as long as we got each other
Turn it up turn it up mash it up
It aint the end of the world
(ohh)
We gunna live like its the end of the world
Gunna party like
(ohh)
Turn it up turn it up mash it up
It aint the end of the world..

The Test

How long can you go without an insult? How long can you go without making a negative judgment towards someone? Or how long can you go without being completely negative in any given situation?

If you can make it 1 hour during the day you are more successful than 76 percent of the population. Time yourself…

Be honest.

The cruise from hell? What?

“It’s nothing like anyone expected,” said passenger David Zambrano. “You stand in line for two hours just to get your food because everybody goes to the same place to pick up their food. Then once you get your food, you look for something to do. People are playing cards. People are standing around, just kind of talking. They’re getting to socialize.”

Um… after reading that quote things don’t seem that bad? Did a someone just make a big deal out of socializing?

That quote above is from a passenger of The Carnival cruise ship that’s broken down 55 miles off the coast of Punta San Jacinto. It’s currently been out to Sea for the past 3 days. This all started with a engine fire which stalled the boat and eventually led to the failure of all electricity. The ship is currently being pulled by tugboats to the San Diego area where they will unload to safety.

We shouldn’t be surprised by this but the media is having a field day with this. Last night the tug boat’s pulled the ship within a cell phone reception area and the moment that happen practically everyone on the ship began calling their loved ones, friends….and errr, the media. Once this hits the media it’s over, this is basically being talked about as though Jack Dawson is on board and this is officially Titanic part 2.

As we know, if something falters even for a second we need to polarize it and milk it for all we can. Before we know it these passengers are going to be writing their own books about courage on the water. Anyway, I digress…

The main issues that have been pointed out is that 1) there is no electricity 2) they didn’t have working toilets for a day and 3) they could only eat “cold” food. Those are the issues. Yup. There have been no fights, no passengers going over board, no captains losing their shit, just plain old lack of electricity and cold food with a little backed up toilet.

This whole thing has been summed up with the quote above, it’s been called a “nightmare.” Carnival is about to get the Domino’s treatment.

The good news is that everyone is alright, the bad news is everyone is stretching for a story here. If the best we can do is to discuss the issue of socializing we may have a week of horrible Carnival stories. This may be a good time to book your next cruise.

Read up more on this HERE.

The Watch Guy

Watch Guy: Do you own a watch?
Me: Yes.
Watch Guy: Good. If you don't you'll go crazy.
Me: Well, glad that I do. Wait... Why would I go crazy?
Watch Guy: Time. It's all about time. If you don't know what time it is you'll go crazy.
Me: Oh, yeah.
Watch Guy: No you don't get it. The second you forget about time is the second you die. I dare you to tempt time.
I bought a watch from him.

Friday Lyrics: Like a G6

This song is so great yet not all at the same time. When I listen to it I want have fun but I don’t want to listen to it…but I want to have fun? The group “Far East Movement” seemingly shot out of nowhere with this song, I’ve heard it on the radio 627 times, yet I never knew what they were saying. Once again, a strong beat makes up for a song about nothing.

Listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvgJEznqtms

Hook
Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6
Like a G6, Like a G6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6

Verse 1

Gimme that Mo-Moet
Gimme that Cry-Crystal
Ladies love my style, at my table gettin wild
Get them bottles poppin, we get that drip and that drop
Now give me 2 more bottles cuz you know it don’t stop

(808) Hell Yeaa
Drink it up, drink-drink it up,
When sober girls around me, they be actin like they drunk
They be actin like they drunk, actin-actin like they drunk
When sober girls around me actin-actin like they drunk

Hook
Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6
Like a G6, Like a G6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6

Verse 2

Sippin on, sippin on sizz, Ima ma-make it fizz
Girl i keep it gangsta, poppin bottles at the crib
This is how we live, every single night
Take that bottle to the head, and let me see you fly

(808) Hell Yeaa
Drink it up, drink-drink it up,
When sober girls around me, they be actin like they drunk
They be actin like they drunk, actin-actin like they drunk
When sober girls around me actin-actin like they drunk

Hook
Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6
Like a G6, Like a G6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6

Bridge

Its that 808 bump, make you put yo hands up
Make you put yo hands up, put yo, put yo hands up
(You can’t Touch this)
Its that 808 bump, make you put yo hands up
Make you put yo hands up, put yo, put yo hands up
(You can’t Touch this)
Hell Yeaaa, Make you put yo hands up, put yo put yo hands up
Hell Yeaaa, Make you put yo hands up, put yo put yo hands up

Hook
Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6
Like a G6, Like a G6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6

Um...Baseball?

It’s the eve of the historic midterm election and I think I’m asking the question that everyone is thinking: What happened to baseball? Did anyone even know the World Series was on tonight? The Giants VS The Rangers. I was more focused on watching Monday Night Football than I was the final game of the World Series where the Giants finally won for the first time in 50 plus years.

But seriously, what happened to baseball? Maybe what happened is the wrong question. We all know that baseball is a slow sport, if you hit the ball more than 30 percent of the time you’re considered great. That leaves us with 70 percent of boring strike outs and a handful of pitches that don’t seem too impressive from a TV point of view. Boredom, that’s what happened. Let’s break this down for a second.

When I grew up in the 80’s baseball was king. What kid didn’t look at the back of a baseball card to check the stats of their favorite player? In the 80’s it seemed that the aura of baseball still lived on, even sort of in the 90’s. Late 90’s early 2000’s we got the steroid induced years that re-energized baseball and somehow now it’s faded - it seems.

So what happened? Well, it’s pretty simple: the sport is too slow. When did it happen? Sometime in the last 20 years. How did it happen? I think it starts with the Internet. It starts with the way we need our information now: GO GO GO GO. Basball isn’t that – Football is, Basketball is, and even Soccer is. Baseball is an “old man’s” sport, it’s for the guy who wants to keep stats at the game, and it’s for the nostalgic guy who says “back in my day.”

It’s unfortunate to some degree. I foresee baseball making a major change over the next 10 years. Unless 3-D TV can somehow pump life back into the deflated ball there are going to be some major changes. Our record books of baseball are going to be dated like B.C. and A.D. and we’ll one day talk about how things were so different, there may even be a time limit on games one day.

However as this change happens I think it’s important to note that there is no experience like going to a baseball game. I’m the new old man who has nostalgia when I think of ballparks, and because of that I hope 3 things never change in the game of baseball. I give you the 3 prerequisites of a live ballgame:

1) It is mandatory to bring a glove to the ballpark if you’re under the age of 15.
2) It is mandatory to order peanuts.
3) It is mandatory to order a beer if you bring your child to a game…or if you’re over the age of 21.

In the world of ratings baseball has no choice but to adapt. But my God I hope the 3 nostalgic prerequisites never falter.

(Congrats Giants)

Ridiculous Lyric Friday : 143

It’s Friday, and that means I listen to pop radio and all the new songs coming to our ears. I don’t know how old this song is but I heard it and could resist from checking out what exactly they’re saying. It’s called “143” from Bobby Brackins Ft. Ray J. You all know Ray Jay from the Kardashian porno and you know Bobby Brackins from, eh, his name sounding like a cartoon character.

At first when I heard this I thought… “They’re saying what now?” Then I went home and listened on replay, the song is so bad it’s good…sort of. To any woman who falls for these lyrics I feel for you, I wish it was this easy. Click HERE for the video, but I suggest reading the lyrics below.

I give you: 143 

Knockout, Ray J, Bobby Brackins yeah

Chorus
143 I’ll make you yell it when we sexin, 143 is what you send me when we textin, I ball ba ba ball and pop pa pop bub, I’m just looking for some love in the club. 143 I la la la love you x4 143!

Verse 1
Ride with a stunna you know that I’m winning, headed to the top I ball no 9th inning, pop bottles in the club yes we can, I don’t even care if you a lesbian, that just means we got some common interest, spark my trees then I’ll spark your intrest. Okay… Let’s pop some bubbly, tell me you in love with me, no golf but club with me, I’m big like double D’s. Poppin in cities I aint heard of, let me see your titties, baby pull that shirt up, lift that skirt up got buns like a burger, do the most not the minimum you not a wage worker.

Chorus
143 I’ll make you yell it when we sexin, 143 is what you send me when we textin, I ball ba ba ball and pop pa pop bub, I’m just looking for some love in the club. 143 I la la la love you x4 143!

Verse 2
Call up your local station if you hear this on the radio, I’m calling up Ray J thinking about the video. If we make a video I’ma need a scene, with dimes in t-shirts that say 143! I got my video all on t.v (wa wa what’s next Bob) we gone drop the E.P. Throwing dubs in the club, at the dance club, or at the strip club, it’s 143 love. Or settle at a playa location, made another hit for the radio station. 143 to the cutie from the club, stick shift love 143 so clutch.

Pre-hook
143 e e (aye what it do), 143 e e (aye what it do), 143 e e (aye what it do), when you see me in the club say I love you.

Chorus
143 I’ll make you yell it when we sexin, 143 is what you send me when we textin, I ball ba ba ball and pop pa pop bub, I’m just looking for some love in the club. 143 I la la la love you x4 143!

Bridge
My girls a mack mack mack, Lambo’s all black black black, in the club with stacks stacks stacks, 143 stay it back back back, 431 Sexy can I, fall in love Sexy can I, run the club, 143 eeeeeeee girl I looooovve youuu.

Chorus
143 I’ll make you yell it when we sexin, 143 is what you send me when we textin, I ball ba ba ball and pop pa pop bub, I’m just looking for some love in the club. 143 I la la la love you x4 143!

HIT!

Lyric Friday : Trey Songz

Yup, Trey Songz, and he has a song called BOTTUMS UP. I have no idea his past music experience but on a drive home I heard his song and I had to understand what he was saying. I’m starting to feel like more and more musicians are just getting away with rhyming the 1st and 3rd word but actually repeating themselves over and over again. Or maybe it’s always been this way and I’m just listening to too much pop radio.

I called my friend and asked if he knew who this guy was, apparently I’m in the dark because he’s pretty popular, also it should be noted the woman who pops in is named Nicki Minaj.

Eventually I got home - I looked, I give you… BOTTUMS UP

HERE is the song if you want to listen. But I think you should read the lyrics first.

Yeah
Oh oh it’s Mr. Steal Yo Girl
Oh oh it’s Mr. Steal Yo Girl oh oh
Let’s go

[Chorus: Trey Songz]
Bottoms up, bottoms up, ey, what’s in ya cup
Got a couple bottles, but a couple ain’t enough
Bottoms up, bottoms up, throw your hands up
Tell security we bout to tear this club up
Bottoms up, bottoms up, pocket full of green
Girl, you know I love the way you shake it in them jeans
Bottoms up, bottoms up, throw ya hands up
Bottoms up, bottoms up, bottoms up (up, up)

[Verse 1: Trey Songz]
You know what it is girl, we back up in this thang
Money stay in my pocket, girl, I’m like a walkin’ bank
Tell me whatcha drank, tell me whatcha thank
If I go get these bottles, we go alcohol insane
Callin’ all the girls, do you hear me?
All around the world, city to city
Cheers to the girls, throw a deuce to the guys
Now I got a chicken and a goose in the ride
Gettin’ loose in the ride
Hatin’ ass nigga you can move to the move to the move to the side

[Chorus: Trey Songz]
Bottoms up, bottoms up, ey, what’s in ya cup
Got a couple bottles, but a couple ain’t enough
Bottoms up, bottoms up, throw your hands up
Tell security we bout to tear this club up
Bottoms up, bottoms up, pocket full of green
Girl, you know I love the way you shake it in them jeans
Bottoms up, bottoms up, throw ya hands up
Bottoms up, bottoms up, bottoms up (up, up)

[Verse 2: Trey Songz]
My vision’s blurred, my words slurred
Its jam packed, a million girls
And I ain’t tryin to lead em
We drunk so let me be your alcohol hero
Callin’ all the girls, do you hear me?
All around the world, city to city
Cheers to the girls, throw a deuce to the guys
Now I got a chicken and a goose in the ride
Gettin’ loose in the ride
Hatin ass nigga you can move to the move to the move to the side

[Chorus: Trey Songz]
Bottoms up, bottoms up, ey, what’s in ya cup
Trey Songz Bottoms Up lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/trey-songz-bottoms-up-lyrics.html
Got a couple bottles, but a couple ain’t enough
Bottoms up, bottoms up, throw your hands up
Tell security we bout to tear this club up

Bottoms up, bottoms up, pocket full of green
Girl, you know I love the way you shake it in them jeans
Bottoms up, bottoms up, throw ya hands up
Bottoms up, bottoms up, bottoms up (up, up)

[Nicki Minaj]
Yo, could I get that ‘Tron?
Could I get that Remmy?
Could I get that Coke?
Could I get that Henny?
Could I get that margarita on the rock rock rocks?
Could I get that salt all around that rim rim rim rim?
Trey, I was like “Yo Trey”
Do you think you could buy me a bottle of Rose’?
Okay, lets get it now
I’m with a bad bitch he’s with his friends
I don’t say “Hi”, I say “Keys to the Benz”
Keys to the Benz? Keys to the Benz!
Muhfuckin right yeah, weed to the 10
If a bitch try to get cute Imma sock her
Throw a lotta money at her then yell fucka, fucka, fucka,
Then yell fucka.
Then Imma go get my Louisville Slugger
Excuse me, I’m sorry, I’m really such a lady
I rep Young Money
You know Slim, Baby?
And we be doin’ donuts while we wavin’ the .380
We give a lotta money to the babies out in Haiti
Yellin all around the world,
Do you hear me? Do you like my body?
Anna Nicki
Rest in peace to Anna Nicole Smith
Yes, my dear, you’re so explosive
Say hi to Mary, Mary and Joseph
Now bottoms up and double my dosage

[Chorus: Trey Songz]
Bottoms up, bottoms up, ey, what’s in ya cup
Got a couple bottles, but a couple ain’t enough
Bottoms up, bottoms up, throw your hands up
Tell security we bout to tear this club up
Bottoms up, bottoms up, pocket full of green
Girl, you know I love the way you shake it in them jeans
Bottoms up, bottoms up, throw ya hands up
Bottoms up, bottoms up, bottoms up (up, up)

Bottoms up, Bottoms up, Bottoms up, Bottoms up, Bottoms up