Petraeus: The Least Surprising Thing Ever.


Dear surprised people,

Am I the only person who thinks that the General Petraeus cheating scandal isn’t really that big of a fucking deal, and the only thing we should be surprised by is that he’s stupid enough to use email. Somewhere in that CIA training he had to understand the possible negative implications of an e-paper trail.

I think it may be time for a good chunk of people to enter the real world and stop pretending that we live in a Leave it to Beaver world, and people of power do in fact… stray.

I understand that people like to hold others in a very high regard, and I understand that common folk tend to have wandering eyes so common folk needs to look at men and women as people with more self control, ultimately holding them in a brighter light and looking up to them.

Its time that people stop acting like infidelity is a sign of the times, it’s not. It’s been around forever, maybe even longer. It’s just that there are more ways for people to get caught. I think the real goal is to live in honesty and be upfront about everything. The person who has nothing to hide usually doesn’t get caught for cheating.

For the record I’m definitely not saying that having a mistress and straying is a good thing, nor am I saying it’s the right thing. I’m just saying that we all need to stop being so fucking surprised that people who you don’t actually know have someone on the side. Having a mistress doesn’t change the world - it just keeps it going.


A guy who has been faithful for many years and would possibly be castrated if it was any other way.


Here’s a list of (some) men who have had mistresses:

140% of NBA players (not exact) 120% of NFL players (not exact) 110% of Futbol players (not exact) 90% of Hockey players (not exact) 70% of MLB players (not exact) Thomas Jefferson Benjamin Franklin George Washington Alexander Hamilton James Madison Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Bill Clinton Client 9 Elliot Spitzer Newt JFK Lyndon Johnson Anthony “greatest last name ever” Weiner John Edwards

…You get the point. Stop being so surprised.