Chris Paul: The Ex Girlfriend

As a Lakers fan I went through a wave of emotions yesterday. In the morning I was talking to my buddy and we were discussing Dwight Howard and Chris Paul, I was saying how I’d love it if the Lakers got Superfreak Dwight Howard and then we joked for about 3 minutes about how amazing the Lakers would be with both Paul and Howard. About 3 hours later I got this call:

Me: Hello

Him: Did you hear!?

Me: Huh?

Him: Paul for Odom AND Gasol!


Me: Dude?

Him: Paul FOR Odom and Gasol!

Me: Don’t fuck with me man, I’m walking down 4th street and can’t take this right now.

Him: Seriously it’s all over the radio!

I ran and checked the Internet but it wasn’t there, apparently 710 ESPN in LA is faster than the Internet. As I scoured various sport outlets to read more I started to think about the trade. I thought about how much I loved Gasol and was even starting to come around to Odom. I started to think of Andrew Bynum’s peanut butter knees and how we’ll have to rely on him, I thought about how this would affect Derrick Fisher, but then I went back to how much I really loved Gasol.

Quick side story on Gasol: I was at a game and as Gasol was walking back to the court after halftime, some crazy fan jumped about 2 feet over the railing right in front of Gasol. As security was running to apprehend the guy, the guy quickly pulled out a marker. Gasol stopped the security guards and slyly grabbed the marker and signed the guy’s jersey. Security ushered him back to his seat. If I wasn’t sold on Gasol, I was then.

You know what else is really weird about Gasol and Odom – my girlfriend knows who they are. Aside from Kobe, I think they’re the only players she actively cares about. In a different time I could picture Gasol as the Dos Equis most interesting man alive, not sure why but he appeals to women… he just does. She knows Odom because he’s a Kardashian – we’ll leave it at that.

Finally the Paul story popped up and it was true, the three-team deal was taking place and I needed to come to terms with two 7 feet players leaving. I had to say goodbye to two key components to rebuilding the Lakers after Shaq departed.

After I was sort of coming to terms with this whole trade and starting to envision Paul tossing an alley-oop to Kobe and Kobe then has to do an acrobatic lay up because his legs are not 23 years old anymore I was officially coming around. I know how great Chris Paul is, that’s not up for question, it’s just the size we’ve lost and the instability of Bynum that’s keeping me worried. And then I get a message….

“The trade was vetoed”

What the fuck? I come to learn Dan “I can’t keep LeBron James so I throw tempter tantrums” Gilbert shot out some email and this is viewed as an unfair trade. The Lakers aren’t getting Chris Paul... And then a moment that happens to every human at some point in their life took place:

The Lakers not getting Chris Paul made me want him even more. I somehow forgot about Gasol’s kindness and Odom’s Kardashian-ness. All I could think about is Chris Paul doing his best Magic Johnson impression to the Lakers last season in the playoffs. I started to envision his healthy knees tossing a half court pass to Kobe and Kobe some how is flying when he catches it, then he dunks on someone.

Chris Paul has become something I want even more because we can’t have him. He’s like the ex girlfriend you didn’t like but she pulled the trigger to break it off with you and suddenly the girlfriend looks about 9 times better. I’m still in this phase. I’m trying to remind myself that when these things don’t happen it’s usually for the better, somehow it always works out.

I have this gut feeling that we’ll get Paul… somehow… someway. In my perfect world we’d get him in free agency next year and the entire Lakers roster reorders their contracts just to sign Paul, just so the Lakers can give the emphatic fuck you to everyone.

Final thoughts:

Even though I know Dan Gilbert isn’t the only man behind this I’ve never been Team LeBron more than I am right now.

It’s too bad we couldn’t get Dwight Howard - that may solve everything.

My friend just text me and said I had a man crush on Chris Paul.