I’m a sports fan, and being a sports fan means I believe in random superstitions and raw emotion generally tanks logic more than I’d like to admit. I occasionally believe in random jinxes and from time to time am afraid to admit this to myself simply because I feel to embarrassed…I’m a sports fan.
In my world you walk a fine line between gloating and creating the ultimate jinx, it’s actually tough not to cross the two - The reason we worry about a jinx is because we have a personal investment in the team, we actually care. The reason we gloat is because we’re so proud as if we’re actually quarterbacking the team.
I’ve turned the other cheek and am very careful not to create commotion in my jinx world; I’ve played it safe because I’ve been burned before.
I’ve played it cool… I’ve played it smart… I didn’t want to jinx a single person… I didn’t want to jinx my team. But today that changes.
Fuck you potential jinx. Today I announce what I’ve been thinking all NFL season:
The Green Bay Packers are going undefeated. I want them to go undefeated. I never want them to lose.
Somewhere my friend Alex just got very pissed off with me for “calling it” but I had too, and I know he’s thinking the same thing too, but neither one of us want to be responsible if they lose.
I hate it when ESPN starts with the Miami Dolphin undefeated 72’ season talk at weeks 2 and to be honest I’m sick of them leading off shows with “Looks like the Dolphins can pop the champagne” once the 5-0 whoever lose their game. I don’t want to hear about it anymore, I want to hear about the 2011 Packers going undefeated - all the way through the Super Bowl.
Here’s why they’ll do it:
The Offense: Is it just me or do these guys really like each other? If the Packers were on Hard Knocks I bet we’d see them playing monopoly with each other’s families. Why is it important for them to like each other? Duh, they want each other to succeed.
Aaron Rodgers: It’s a good time to be QB in the NFL; A Rodg is experiencing that right now. As long as he’s going… the Packers will not lose.
Well, wait… I’ll stop, that’s it, that’s why they’ll go undefeated. The A Rodg led offense is so good that it’s tough to keep up with them at this moment in time, the only way you can come close to beating them is by keeping them off the field.
Why they won’t do it:
Injures: That’s it.
Old me would have just given myself the Larry David skeptical stare down and asked why I just opened the door on a potential jinx of injuries, poor Rodgers play, bad offensive play, and the perfect season. New Me is the guy staring back at Larry David confident in whatever I just said – knowing the only way to this machine down is through the unfortunate injury.
The Packers are good and my logic is telling me nobody can stop them, they’re currently like the opening sequence of Last Boy Scout where Billy Banks is running down the field shooting everyone because nobody will stop them… The Packers are him - minus the gun.
Today I denounce a jinx. ESPN please start prepping any and all clever things you have to say about the Miami Dolphins and Green Bay Packers. The Packers are going 16-0.
I say this with confidence.