Today I helped my girlfriend down to her car, I carried her heavy purple bag filled with God knows what, took it down the elevator through our apartment complex, and then I loaded the trunk. I told her to have a good day and to drive safe. I walked down wearing mesh sports shorts and a T-shirt, she on the other hand was dressed business casual.
Yesterday I did laundry during the day, and it wasn’t the weekend. In fact, it was Thursday. My girlfriend and I met at the door I was carrying a large laundry basket she was carrying bags to work. I gave her a kiss and told her to have a good day. I walked East to the laundry room and she headed west to take the elevator to the car.
I was doing many loads, our laundry has been building for some time, and as a matter of fact I occupied 3 washers and 3 dryers. When the cycles were finished a realization set over me—I am some sort of stay at home dad without the children. Today my feelings were amplified even more after I loaded the trunk of her car.
With all of that in mind I must note that I do in fact work however my job doesn’t start until late in the afternoon, it leaves me with a lot of time to myself at home, which I love. I get to take care of things that I actually like to do (so I tell myself) but still I get intruded with the 50’s stay at home mom feeling.
I took a step back at all of the remedial things I have done while at home… dishes… dusted… cleaned… fluffed a pillow… Oh my God what has happened to me? Somehow I have flipped my duties as man. I’m supposed to be bringing home food and working hard till my fingers bleed…Right? I can’t live like this, but I am. I wonder how long this will last, and how in the hell have I become programmed to do these things? I like to tell myself that I’m a neat freak and I must do it but I don’t know if that’s the case.
So here I’m wondering about all of this and it is more clear than ever the change in times. I bet many years ago I would not be doing this, I think men back in the day would have rather been single than to feel like this. Maybe, that is still true and I feel differently. Who knows?
I did decide too look at some stats of how many men are staying home and the woman is going out to work, I’m talking about Men who take care of children without a job, they are essentially Mr. Mom. The number has gone up by about 30% in the last 30 years or so…
Let me be clear when I say I do not have kids, not now or anytime soon, I have a job, and I don’t like to look at myself as Mr. Mom. However, I definitely feel like her sometimes.
I brought this up to my girlfriend…. All of my stay at home issues. In a matter of moments it was pointed out to me that I am being insecure with myself.
Wow, well she’s right… And that was simple.
Insecure or not, I don’t like doing laundry during the day and I look forward to the moment my lady stays home and complains of this.