I've Seen Too Many Scary Movies

How do I know that I’ve seen too many scary movies? Well it’s pretty simple and here’s the scenario…

My girlfriend’s beautiful 1-year-old niece, Justine, who looks as innocent as … well … I can’t think of anything, she would be the example I use when explaining someone looks innocent. Just look at that picture above. Anyway, her niece, sister, and brother in law are staying with us for the weekend and last night we had her crib in our room.

It should be noted - I’ve never had a 1 year old stay in my room until last night so I experienced the hours upon hours of listening with an acute hearing that maybe only bats have just to make sure she’s breathing and healthy. When I was finally dosing off, half in and out of sleep, a weird and sudden thought came to me:

What if I woke up and the baby was standing at the edge of the bed looking at me as if it knew something I didn’t know?


Or! What if the baby is sitting in our chair in the corner of the room reading a novel that can only be found in a different country!?

I quickly woke up my girlfriend and said:

“Hey what if Justine was just standing there staring at you?”

She looked at me with a who says that look and said: “Shut up”

So I did. Then I looked at Justine sound asleep and was probably dreaming about the Mickey Mouse Hot Dog song that I played for her 8 times. Of course she looked totally adorable and innocent. I laid back down and wondered what kind of person would think that? I’ll tell you who…

A person who creates fictitious scenarios and then embellishes them because they’ve probably seen it or thought about it… When watching a scary movie! I couldn’t stop thinking about the creepy twins from The Shining or the kid from The Omen.

This situation described about should be the standardized test for all people wanting to know if they’ve seen too many scary movies.