Aaron Rodgers

Rodgers Matthews belt This will be my last desperate (and maybe pathetic) attempt to push the Green Bay Packers into the throats of any football fan. I’m well aware this is Seattle / Denver week, and I’m also well aware that I’m partially delusional to hold the Packers on such a large pedestal as I currently do. Lets be real, they’ve been getting their asses kicked for the last three years. Oh wait, what a perfect segway!

But first, a disclaimer: I love the Green Bay Packers. I really do. I have professional football love for Aaron Rodgers, and did I mention I love the Green Bay Packers. That’s why it kind of kills me to write this…

There aren’t many players in the NFL with distinct badass football moves. When I say moves I mean celebrations, not jukes, or hurdles that running backs do. We’re talking very specific association with one action and one player. The few that come to mind are Colin Kapernick kissing his dumb bicep, Cam Newton doing his Superman thing, and… wait. Is that it? I think it may be. But there used to be one more and it was Aaron Rodgers doing the “Title Belt” which somehow is now associated with State Farm Insurance as the “Discount Double Check” and this really pisses me off.

I hate to say this but, Aaron Rodger sold the fuck out (and not in the good way). Not only did he sell out but he stripped us all of seeing him toss a fake WWE belt around his waste for the next god knows how many years. We’ve lost the arrogance that any good celebratory move has. If you were or are a wresting fan you know how important “moves” are, it’s a calling card. It’s a moment for all of us to say, “oh shit, Aaron Rodgers is about to do something crazy”.

The mind blowing thing about all of this is that the Aaron Rodgers was literally set up to be stuck with the “Title Belt” association forever. If we recall, Clay Matthews draped a fake WWE belt over his shoulder when they won the Superbowl (picture above). He was primed to be stuck with it! What happened!? Why’d he sell it to State Farm Insurance!? Why’d he just give away the rights to something so great!? WHY!?

Was it the money? Maybe, but two years after he became associated with the belt he got the best contract in NFL quarterback history.  He had to know something big was coming, right? Or is that naive of me? Was it the fact he didn’t want to be associated with the WWE? Maybe, but I doubt it, because he wouldn’t have done the belt gesture in the first place. Was it the fact that he was hooking up his buddy at State Farm? No, probably not.

You know the worst part about all of this? It’s that he doesn’t even do the move anymore, he just stopped. He allows some moron on TV to do in front of him. He literally sold out, and I don’t know if he expected so many people to pick up on this but they did, and it sucks because we’ve been stripped of happiness, and I feel deep down he wants to do it. NAY, not think, he does want to do. Just watch his reaction against the Bears.

So what’s the deal? Why’d he go State Farm? How did this happen? Is it a coincidence that once he stopped the “Title Belt” they’ve been going down hill? God, I just can’t get into that.

Aaron Rodgers sold out. But not just sold out, he sold a longterm move, he sold an association. He stripped millions of kids around the world doing something awesome when they score a touch down on the playground. These kind of things come along once every so often so to see it is special, especially when it happens organically - that’s even more special. Dammit it pisses me off.

Go Packers.

Oh God, I just found this and it break my heart: Shit!

Packers VS 49ers: The Aftermath

NFL: NOV 01 Vikings at Packers Well, that was painful. Not sure I want to go through that every again. I started the game telling myself that I’d do a liveblog because I wanted to document my ups and downs. It only took about half of the first quarter to realize there was not a fucking chance I’d be able to multi task and things weren’t looking great for my Packers. I turned my computer off (grabbed my phone) and stared at my TV screen while pacing and being a fan from the Midwest. Wait. Shit. This feeling sucks.

I can’t think. I don’t want to write. I don’t want to think about Jim Harbough on the sideline, Colin Kapernick running, that dude Hyde who dropped a 4th quarter interception, Colin Kapernick running, Packers injuries, Colin Kapernick running, dropped balls, the entire first quarter, and Colin Kapernick.

Damn. This one stings. Fortunately I’m a *tad bit older and wiser and I won’t go into a shit fit like I would've done a few years ago. The Packers took one on the chin, again. Kapernick owns the Packers and it kills me to say it, but I won’t hide from the truth! I can’t. I’m about to cry.

Fuck it. It’s just football. Onward 2014.

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Actually, just one final thing: I had a text thread going with a few people. Specifically my good friend, DJ. This was his final text to me:

Bad play calling in the first quarter came back to haunt us. Dumb, stupid, conservative McCarthy play calling. 

Can’t say I disagree with that. Honorable mention for his text that came an hour earlier:

There is something to be said about pre-mixing Micheladas for Packers games. 

Can’t say I disagree with that either.

Good Bye Packers Season... And Probably The NFL.

Aaron Rodgers, Colin Kaepernick Well. Shit.

Lets rewind for a second and return to Saturday…

It all started when I was walking with my friend to a terrible Hollywood bar called “The Tavern.” Terrible for the service, not really anything else. As we were walking my friend said, “Hey do you know whose winning the Broncos game?” I said, “no.” It was at that moment I realized, I don’t really care about other games, and I’m probably not going to care about football if the Packers lose.

This thought scared because this is what I call… The 2007 zone.

The 2007 Zone:

In 2007 Brett Favre was in his final year and the Packers were doing work on the Giants in the NFC Championship game. In what can only be described as overtime madness the Giants proceeded to beat the Packers 23-20, which sent me in to a tailspin of hell. That night I proceeded to drink more than Charlie Sheen and argued with anybody. I was irrational. I was angry. But most importantly, I was embarrassed the next morning.

I called my friend and I told him I couldn’t get like that again, ever! He agreed. And I didn’t. It was my unofficial Frank The Tank moment.

I digress…

When we arrived to the Tavern the Broncos game was coming to its unbelievable conclusion. The Broncos were about to lose on an improbable bomb from Matt “Jack” Ryan. Two guys, who were Broncos fans, and their girlfriends, who probably don’t care about sports, were sitting across from us. Watching them watch the game was basically foreseeing a domestic violence incident. These guys were pissed. At one point one of the guy’s girlfriends tried to kiss him and he batted her hand away. It was one of those moments where you could have swooped in on the girl and stole her from her boyfriend simply because the guy looked so fucking stupid.

I leaned over to my buddy and said “Dude, I really hope I don’t feel like these guys when our game is over.” He agreed and we had a nice laugh. But then it hit me - Watching these guys depressed in all their glory reminded me… The 2007 Zone. I mentally prepped for the worst-case scenario. I should have seen it coming. These guys were an omen.

And then it happened…

Colin Kaepernick decided to go Bo Jackson Techmo Super Bowl on everyone and he ran the Packers in circles. It was a difficult thing to watch. The last time I watched a Packers playoff game and felt so helpless was when Mike Vick crushed them in 2003 at home. I knew Kaepernick was going to be a problem, I felt it, I just didn’t realize how big of a problem and I still felt good about the game.

900 rushing yards later the game was over. At the start of the 4th quarter I asked my stupid waitress to close out. I wanted to bail and not deal with what was happening but apparently someone misplaced my credit card. Watching them try to find this thing was excruciating. It took about 20 minutes to track down and in that time I was surrounded by TVs and 49ers fans, all I wanted to do was run. It felt like one cruel joke. The Packer Gods wanted me to absorb what was happening.

The absorption and my stupid waitress may have been the best thing that happened to me. I realized that as much as I hated the game I’m fortunate it didn’t end like the Broncos game. I’m not sure I could’ve handled that. But I could handle this. I made peace knowing that the Packers got it handed to them. It was another game in a seemingly never-ending cycle of emotional ups and downs. I realized that I pretty much have moved on from the 2007 zone, I’ve grown. Fucking time does crazy things to a person.

The Packers season ended and so did my football-watching season. Every year I go through this push and pull. I wonder why I like sports and why I waste my time. I don’t know if I can go through another season of this. I wonder how long my push and pull love hate with sports will last. Hopefully I’ll come to terms sooner or later.

Damn you, sports.

LA Lakers: Observations & Predictions

- The Lakers seem like they’re a team that needs a moment where they all are going to have to play scrubs on Venice beach and have an 80’s bonding montage some time during the mid season just to give themselves confidence.

- This is the first time in the history of life that fans know more than the coaches. We all see the inevitable fall of Mike Brown’s questionable offense. He’s somehow made one of the greatest point guards of all time a non-factor.

- This year could be a year that blows up the franchise. Mike Brown will kill Dwight Howard’s thoughts of signing an extension, which will result in him leaving. Brown will get fired. Nash will retire early.

- The Lakers are going to have a players only meeting after their Venice beach fun and say, “fuck it, lets do what we want.”

- Princeton offense is gone.

- Derrick Fisher signs with the Lakers. Where is D. Fish?

- Lakers somehow make it to the NBA finals.

Why does this make sense?

http://youtu.be/HI-vja-tcc0 Before we all watch the Lakers and their suddenly horrible offense with amazing players we should all watch this and be happy it exists.

I present: Metta World Peace in a Lifetime movie called “The Eleventh Hour”

…And yes, that is Jenny Garth.

…And yes, I may have to break this video down at some point in the near future.

Dear 49ers Fans --

Lets just excuse the bitter aspect of everything for a second because I am a Green Bay Packers fan.

I hopped on Facebook today and noticed my friend just posted a picture of Alex Smith with the tag “Who’s got it better than us?” I stared at it for a long time trying not to think what I was about to think but I thought it anyway —

You can’t use the phrase “who’s got it better than us” only when the 49ers win. That’s just not right. You either commit or you don’t commit. That phrase is the most ridiculous phrase ever uttered from any fan base that has actually lost games. You either gotta double down on the stupidity or abandoned it completely… just like Aaron Rodgers and his title belt move… um… I mean discount double check.

Are we all clear about this? Does this make sense? Any time I talk to San Francisco fans about this I never get an explanation as to how people can act like this phrase doesn’t exist. Where was this just the other week when you lost? I’m confused.

Now back to bitter Packers fan mode. Go Packers.

10 minutes later: I just read the origins of this saying and I can kind of appreciate it from a family point of view, but still… You can’t just sometimes use it.

The Weekend When a World Series Apparently Happened.

I’ll just be honest – I think I’ve given up on wanting to like baseball. It’s almost shocking for me to even say this because growing up in Wisconsin produced sports culture 101 and going to Brewers games was a normal occurrence when I was a kid. I think the times have caught up to me and I find the sport to be boring. The true test is if “my team” was in the World Series, problem is, is that I don’t really have a team anymore. I root for the Brewers due to hometown pride, the Cubs due to parental nostalgic pride, and now the Dodgers due to… shit… close proximity?

Whichever team I end up rooting for, or not rooting for, the bottom line is that baseball needs to inject itself with steroids again. I tried to watch a bit of game 4 last night and nearly fell asleep. Also, I’ve never really noticed until recently but it’s fucking annoying with all the chewing and spitting that’s happening with 90% of the players. I feel like an old man (or woman) saying that but it’s true.

Baseball needs to speed things up otherwise they’re going to fade away into the world of irrelevance.

Prediction: In lieu of NBC recently winning the rights to the Premiere League, I think soccer… ahem… futbol… will take over the ratings from baseball in the future. This is going to piss a lot of people off.

By the way, casual Sunday night NFL beat the World Series in ratings last night.

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Speaking of NFL…

My Green Bay Packers. This season has been killing me. Almost watching them lose to Blaine Gabbert yesterday only helped the production of grey hairs on my head.

I had a conversation via text with my friend who said he thinks the coaching staff needs to be realigned and Mike McCarthy needs to get the boot. I think I may agree to a certain extent. Watching the Packers week in and week out just tells me that Aaron Rodgers is amazing and he bails out the poor coaching and lack of discipline from the team.

Topic transition!!!

Speaking of movies…

Okay not speaking of movies, but I think I should note that I saw Taken 2 and Paranormal Activity 4 this weekend. I’m not exactly sure how another sequel can be produced for either franchise from here on out but my god I’m curious. I’m absolutely aware that these films may not be as great as the original but I love when sequels come out and they do well. My thought is… If people are going to see it… do it. That may not be the popular opinion but it only makes sense and dives deeper into the human psychology for specific entertainment and comfort in what we know.

Topic transition!!!

One more thing about the Packers – They’re taking form of the 2010 Packers when they played pissed off come from behind football and won the Superbowl. The only things that scare me are injuries and Eli Manning.

Onward.