At some point in the last few years I’ve adopted and stuck to the belief that when it comes to decisions there is nothing bigger than the small ones, and there is nothing more impactful than any decision you make. I’ve been trying to grasp how important they are, and for whatever reason a few years ago when I read “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho something clicked. There was a line that stated, “Whenever you make a decision you’re thrust in a different flow of life” (hope I didn’t fuck that up too much). What Paulo was saying is that the decision you make puts you in a stream that takes you somewhere, who knows where, but it’s somewhere. Paulo is right – when you decide something, you are then going to a new area of life.

I should stop now and mention that this kind of writing is typically saved for my personal journal but the truth is I don’t feel like writing by hand, I feel like typing, and this is my blog so screw it… I’m running forward with a little more of an expressive blog. Be prepared for a random stream of consciousness, I’m 197 words in and I don’t know where I’m going with this…

I’m experiencing some sort of creative block and I’m having a problem holding a thought… I’m having a problem making a decision. I’m always told, “writers, write.” So, I’m writing. I’m trying to figure out why I’m so scrambled and wondering if anyone else gets like this and I’m also curious if there really is a thing as “writers block” or a “creative block.”

Logic tells me that you can push through these things, I kind of feel that only the weak minded should settle for anything that’s associated with a “block” and I feel like there are ways around it – change of scenery, music, food, sleep, etc… But is that true, and why am I calling myself weak minded? I feel that writing this is somehow going to help me out and help me focus a bit, I just need a kick-start to my brain.

Getting back to decisions for a minute: Why are they so important? When dealing with myself, my issue at this moment in time is that I cannot make a decision. I cannot settle on exactly what I want to work on and there are many variables going into these lack of decisions. I haven’t really made a proactive decision in 2 days and in turn I ended up doing basically nothing, and I think that’s important because it’s clearly a mirror to something much bigger.

I always think about the small decisions in life and at times I’m obsessed with the origin of situations. When talking to my friends I’m always curious as to how someone got to the point they’re currently at because it’s always interesting to pinpoint those few decisions that made someone enter their specific world. Sometimes it’s scary to think about what would have been had you chose X over Z, but that’s life, and it’s something that I think is a tad bit underrated.

(If you’re still reading - congratulations… I’m almost done… I know this is all confusing but I hope it’s going somewhere… *hope)

The key to decisions is your confidence and if you truly made it. Did you get bullied or peer pressured into deciding something? Are you making a decision based off of social standards? Do you feel unsure of your decision? Someone should never feel unsure of his or her decision… right?

The more I digest all of this, aside from health, I think that decision and direction are the two most important things for anyone. Direction = What you want. Decision = How you’ll get it. Just be specific and confident and the rest will fall in place.

A wise man once said “I shall seek and I shall find” I find this to be incredibly important, those 7 words sum up everything that (I think) people should be about. Seeking and finding what they want… just make the right decisions getting there.

That’s it, no mas, now that I just attempted to ramble myself into working and making a decision I need to concentrate. I hope that somehow I related to at least one person, I would hate to think I’m in this sort of creative blocked journey on my own.

Enjoy whatever the next small decision is that you make… it may be the biggest thing of your life.