Predicting The Future: Screenwriting

Welcome to the first ever installment of Predicting The Future. I imagine these posts will be random and sporadic… Like the future!

I had a conversation with my friend about screenwriting. I said, “Remember when people didn’t have the internet or computers to write screenplays? 

I proceeded to think about the time and effort that once went into researching screenplays. I bitch and moan when my internet is running slow or the batteries to my keyboard are low. After that I poured a little out for the trailblazers who used pen to paper or fingers to typewriter. 

A second after that I started to think about the future. There will probably be a future-ish me thinking, “Man, remember when they had computers and had to type everything out to write screenplays?” (Hopefully future-ish me will pour a little out). I got to thinking about how I think screenwriting may evolve, and this is what I got… 

Future screenwriting programs will be able to understand what is being typed, and based off of just the little bit that is typed, an algorithm will kick in and the program will generate thousands of options regarding where a story can go. Meaning, I write my first act and my program will then say: 

“Josh here is the options for the next 10 pages…15 pages…. 30 pages….” 

Essentially the computer becomes the writer in some regards. I imagine there will be different options as to how far this could go. Does the computer generate the entire story? Does it get a sense of how you write and then take over? Does it tell you what is most marketable? Does it tell you what is least obvious? The possibilities are scary.

Also, the other obvious prediction for writing screenplays is eliminating the writing altogether so you’re speaking screenplays. I wonder if this period of time is the last hurrah before “writing” is actually eliminated? The machines are taking over. I just poured a little out. 

Walking Entitlement

 

Where do I even begin? Lets begin in Los Angeles because what I’m about to jump into *mainly occurs in LA.

Imagine you come to an area (LA) with a dream and you don’t meet the dream in the time period you set for yourself. Now imagine being around tons of people who have the same dream, and those people seem to be multiplying and they’re not hitting their dream strides either. They’re getting frustrated, now you’re getting frustrated. You’re chasing after what you want and you’re being rejected… so are other people. Fuck, a bunch of people are getting really frustrated! You feel out of control. Bunches of people feel out of control. You need to take a walk and think about things, you need to feel in control.

Enter – Walking Entitlement.

I’ve never been around so many people who seem to be totally fucking clueless when walking across a street or on a sidewalk. But they’re not really clueless, they’re minding their own business, which of course is fine, but they’re not minding unspoken spatial laws of life. The law that may or may not state: Being aware is a priority when walking in a congested city with frustrated humans.

I believe that people feel so out of control in their jobs or pursuit of jobs that they relieve frustration by trying to show themselves and others they’re in control. One place to do this… when taking a walk. It sounds ridiculous but it’s true.

- People in LA just step into streets with a 30-mile per hour car 10 feet away and expect a full stop.

- People walk with dogs and occupy full sidewalk without worrying about others walking towards them.

- People walk in bunches on a sidewalk and don’t move when you’re walking by yourself.

I’ve heard people say “I’m going to sue you if you hit me” and walk in front of cars when they shouldn’t be walking… just because. What kind of asshole does that? People feel entitled while walking. Really, when they’re driving too, but that is a different story. It all breaks down to CONTROL. Which I get… but you don’t have to be an asshole.

I wish there were rules in stone that would allow people to do something to absentminded walkers without facing repercussions.

(Just drifted into a world that sees people getting “get out of jail free” digital cards to allow you to teach appropriate lesson without actually harming the person. In this world there is also specialized honking horns that directs attention at poor drivers).

Okay, I’m back.

Walking entitlement. I get that it’s everywhere, but it’s especially bad in LA. I’ve never seen anything like it. It boils down to being unaware of your surroundings and thinking you can just go. The danger of the unaware walker is that it’s a bigger risk for accident or problem to other people. Having said all of that…

I love LA.

(Cue: Randy Newman)

Videos for Writers.

I write screenplays or at least try to write screenplays. On a good day I’d like to consider myself a writer. In my times of procrastination I tend to hop on youtube and look at various writers giving thoughts on their process and even their history. I think people have a tendency to compare themselves to people, especially in the entertainment industry, and when you listen to other people pursuing what you’re pursuing it’s cool to relate with someone if you’re doing the same thing.

Along with writing I make videos – the two are meant to go hand in hand. I realized that I think it would be very helpful to have some short form videos of writers talking about… writing. But not the boring shit, which is what I think the main issue, is with videos about writers – they’re not exciting. But how exciting can they really be I guess?

Point is, I don’t think there are enough resources and entertainment from writers. So, I’m going to make some videos talking to writers, specifically, talking to screenwriters. But I wanted to send out this blog to the millions of eyes that see it (divide that million by a million then add 4 or 6 for actual number).

But I have some questions, mainly geared towards screenwriters:

Would this be something that is interesting to you, if you’re a writer… or if you aren’t a writer?

Are there specific sites that you go to, to listen to writers talk?

What are some questions you would ask a screenwriter?

Do you even fucking care!? Do you relate to people who are in the same field as you?

I’m obviously aware that these videos have to be entertaining and not boring like many would associate it with. I’d basically trying to create a series of videos geared towards writers that aren’t boring.

Underrated Movie: White Water Summer

 

There are about sixteen moments in each day that I start to think of underrated movies. Typically the movies that come to mind are somehow embedded in my childhood and look like absolute shit to any current day first time watcher. Today I’m sharing an underrated moment and reminding the world that before we saw Kevin Bacon’s schlong in Wild Things and before Sean Astin was carried off the field in Rudy they occupied the screen for a summer time movie of glorious fun:

White Water Summer

Check out the plot summary courtesy of IMDB: An experienced guide (Vic) accompanies a city boy (Alan) and his three friends on their first wilderness experience. Hoping to teach the four boys lessons not only about the wilderness, but also about themselves, Vic pushes them to the limit. Soon after alienating the boys, Vic finds himself in desperate need of help and must rely on his students in order to survive.

I think this movie turned out a bit darker than it was supposed to be, or maybe not, maybe it was supposed to be as dark as it was. In my opinion I think the late 80’s and some of the early 90’s were a quintessential time for kid adventure movies. I feel like Hollywood was saying “How can we fuck with kids and then have them prevail?” And this movie is no exception.

If you’re having a 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon movie night… watch this movie.

Check out the trailer below. Side note: How amazing are old school trailers?

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QBmRr7h7Fw&w=480&h=360]

Matthew McConaughey: Greatest Career Ever

A few years ago I was having a conversation with my friend who lives in Europe and is in no way affiliated with the entertainment industry, aside from liking films. We were talking about various acting careers and I said:

“Who’s career would you have if you could?”

He waited a second and then said: “Matthew McConaughey.”

I proceeded to laugh and jumped on him about his films like Surfer Dude and Sahara. I started a McConaughey rant of how he was on pace to be a great actor when he was in A Time To Kill, Amistad, and Contact but then something happened to him and he just started to produce questionable (that’s being kind) movies. I thought that McCounaughey has been on the downfall for a long time and he shouldn’t be taken seriously as an actor.

My friend listened and then countered with: “Yeah but he’s in a bunch of movies, he lives on the beach, and he bangs tons of chicks. It just seems like he has a great life.”

The comment struck some chord with me and I suddenly saw McConaughey for what he may be – The smartest human being in the entire world, with the best career.

I think more times than not we/me judge people by the quality that they produce in Hollywood, letting personal taste interfere with the simple fact that - if you’re able to have a successful career in Los Angeles then you’re doing something right. He’s been at it for nearly 20 years and he’s not going anywhere, so I dug deeper into McConaughey thought, and this is what I know:

- He's sort of been typecast but not really throughout his career. He’s been romantic comedy guy, serious guy, action guy, stoner guy, stoner guy again, then stoner guy, and back to serious guy.

- This is a guy who was arrested for smoking pot and playing the bongo’s naked in his own house.

- Before he was married and living in Texas he lived in Malibu on the beach in some small motor home.

- He walks around with his shirt off more than he walks around with it on.

- He seemingly works out all the time.

- Since 1992 there has never been more than 2 years that we’ve gone without McConaughey in a movie.

- Before he was married he seriously had more girlfriends than days he’s walked around with no shirt.

My friend was right - this guy really does seemingly have a great life, and he’s also somewhat of a quandary. I’ve been looking at him wrong this entire time. Maybe his decline in movies was intentional, or not even true; maybe he never wanted to be anything more than just a working actor who leads a seemingly carefree and healthy life, and maybe more people should model their careers after McConaughey (yes, I just said that).

As I’ve gotten older my appreciation for McConaughey has only grown. I think this guy may be a Hollywood genius. He either has everyone fooled or everything figured out… or both… or neither …. Fuck! Damn you McConaughey! The legend grows.

Lets also never forget that he delivered one of the greatest lines and moments in cinema history:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Wf-mRo7C2I&w=420&h=315]

Rebooting Back To The Future.

 

I think I have finally figured it out! After years of tough and long mental thought I have figured out how to move forward and reboot the Back To The Future trilogy… and it came to me in a dream… No, seriously. I’ll hold off on the dream talk for now because we need to get a few things clear.

When I’m talking about Back To The Future I’m bundling all 3 films together because it’s that complete. I’m well aware that the 1st film is the best, the 2nd is arguably as good as the 1st, and the 3rd isn’t nearly as good as either but somehow gets better when you catch it on TV.

Here’s why it’s a brilliant trilogy:

Aside from the obvious things like amazing characters, fun storylines, great writing, great directing, and continuous new imaginative visuals it created a fail safe for itself. When Back To The Future literally went to the future in Part 2 it went to the year 2015, forever sealing its fate in that desired time and location. We currently cannot make a sequel to the film because our modern day (2012) doesn’t look like the conception when it was released in 1989, ie: hover boards, flying cars, and fashion. It’s brilliant, right?

Also, in Part 2 we learned that Marty had kids, was married to Jennifer, and Biffs grandson Griff went to jail (to name a few) - another fail safe. Initial thought is there is no way to make a sequel, say Back To The Future Part 4 because it would look hokey and out of touch. Of course this couldn’t have been the intent of the team behind Back To The Future when they created it but it happened, and it’s awesome.

Here’s what my thoughts have always been about trying to flip this trilogy:

- In order to keep this series going with the same title and characters someone would have to conceivably start from scratch and remake the film with a new Marty, Doc Brown, George McFly, Biff, etc… The problem with this idea is everyone knows it’s to soon to do this and that the original films are still better than almost everything in the world.

- The movie could take place in 1985 picking up from where Part 3 left off but the main issue is that a train murdered the DeLorean and Doc Brown is stuck in the old west. OH, and lets not forget the obvious… Michael J Fox and Doc Brown are older and cannot be in these films.

- Speaking of Doc Brown; maybe Part 4 could start in the Wild West and he could send some cowboys into the future for whatever reason. But, who really wants to start a film in the Wild West?

- At the end of Part 3 when Jennifer’s fax disappears stating “you’re fired” she asks Doc what the deal is and Doc says: “the future has not been written yet” – Oh shit! Does that one sentence negate everything above? Did Zemeckis know what he was doing when that line was spoken? What does that mean!?

Quick Side Note: I feel like this is a good random stopping point to point out that I don’t know why everything needs to be rebooted or remade. Honestly, I don’t know why I can’t leave this alone, well, yes I do. I loved this series and deep down I want to pay homage to it. I know that someone is going to redo this movie and trilogy and I want it to be me. Moving on…

Back to my dream and my Back To The Future solve. Remember in Part 1 when Doc Brown was shot by the Libyans at the Twin Pines mall and was talking about plutonium? Also, remember that Marty was recording him? In fact, Marty brought the videotape with him to 1955 to show doc he knew about the flux compacitor. Well, that footage is key to keeping everything moving forward.

In my dream a group of current day kids found the footage from Doc Brown and Marty (along with footage we’ve never seen in the films) and learned how to build a time machine, and not just from a DeLorean but from anything because they know what makes time travel possible… The Flux Compacitor.

The beauty of Doc filming himself in the first film opens up the idea completely and it’s totally logical he was in YouTube mode filming himself stating what he needs to do to time travel. Doc was essentially making a running diary of his work, thus throwing all of his knowledge to future time travelers.

The kids would then reference the footage, create a time machine, and proceed to go on their own adventure, and on this adventure they could maintain the integrity of the series and also reference things like Hill Dale, the clock tower, Marty and Jennifer, Biff, hover board… basically everything from the original that’s cool.

Major issue: The flying fucking cars in the future that we don’t have in current day. The solve: Doc Brown was the catalyst behind the flying and much of the technology that we saw in Part 2 but he just didn’t know it (this would also explain how he created a flying train in Part 3). But since Doc isn’t around because he went back to the Wild West the flying car hasn’t hit the scene… yet (but could be referenced in the video tapes).

Also, lets not forget Doc’s crazy ass “the future has not been written yet” line and plug that in when we need to. Is this line a cop out? Yes. But my entire plot hinges on that line and the videotape footage.

And BOOM, we have a reboot and a semi sequel to the films! But wait, just like Back To The Future there’s one more option -

My dream also consisted of a low budget version of Back To The Future – seriously. That low budget modern day version is a found footage approach, which still revolves around Doc’s videotapes but takes place in 1985. This version takes place during the time that Marty heads back to the past in Part 1 when the Libyans shot Doc.

The major flaw to this is that Marty took the video camera with him, but I’m sure there is some kind of work around to that. How cool is a found footage time travel movie?

What this all boils down to is that in order to reboot this franchise and not fuck things up we need Doc’s footage, it’s the spine to everything, its like the flux compacitor. In my dream it seemed perfect. With this footage we can move forward to open a new adventure for a new group of kids and integrate the old crew.

Does this sound crazy?

In my perfect world this franchise would go untouched, but that’s not reality. We’re in that zone where it’s easier to just retool and reboot everything under the sun due to the built in audience and financial return. Also, we’re getting to a point where the people that are taking over and can make these decisions were fan boys of the original series and if someone has the opportunity to redo this thing, it’s going to happen.

Truthfully, I want to make this movie and when I pitched the idea to someone they thought I was crazy and couldn’t be done. Screw crazy, Doc Brown was crazy and he made a time machine out of a DeLorean. If someone reads this and has the immediate power to get a reboot in motion don’t F things up.

Stooges

What happened? What happened to my (former) favorite comedy brothers Peter and Bobby Farrelly akaThe Farrelly brothers? These two guys served the world two of the greatest comedies in the span of 5 years: Dumb & Dumber and There’s Something About Mary. They made slapstick comedy funny, they sort of defined Ben Stiller, they added fuel to the Jim Carrey fire, and they officially put Cameron Diaz on the map… okay not officially, The Mask did, but at least we knew she was funny.

It took me a minute to realize that they have another movie coming out tomorrow: The Three Stooges. I reminded myself the brothers were the guys behind Stooges and I felt bad for them. I’m never one to just dismiss someone’s work and judge something before I see it but my initial feeling is that this doesn’t look…err… good.

Anyone I’ve talked to is utterly confused about the Stooges reboot and the truth is, it’s getting harder to defend the Farrelly’s. I’m getting worried their time has come and gone, and it’s starting to seem as though people have lost faith in them. As I write this I’m well aware that I’m being very kind and I know people have lost faith in them, but I always want to defend them, I MUST, they fucking created Dumb & Dumber!

I don’t know if it’s easy to pinpoint the exact moment their movies took a turn for the worse. I feel that everyone kind of has an idea of when it happened but lets look back on the movies of the Farrelly’s. We’re going to start with awesome and work our way to current day…

The Farrelly Status:

1994: Dumb & Dumber – How awesome could this script have been to get Jim Carrey attached. At the time Carrey was coming off Ace Ventura and The Mask, and this movie just pushed him over the edge to be the first actor ever paid 20 million for a movie. I don’t need to talk about this movie any more.

Farrelly Status: These guys are on top of the world.

1996: Kingpin – Woody Harrelson and Bill Murray. Who really needs anything else in a movie? This movie coined a term I break out only to the worthy “Munsoned.” Was this movie as good as D&D, no, but this is still a pretty damn good follow up.

Farrelly Status: Still on top of the world.

1998: There’s Something About Mary – What an amazing movie. My buddy talked to me about how this is a perfect comedy and perfect script, he argued that this should have been nominated for an Oscar, and I think he’s right. This was such a hilarious film it blew up Ben Stiller and Cameron Diaz. I would argue that this was the start of the whole Ben Stiller vibe - unassuming guy put in a really shitty situation. This was better than Kingping and made more money than D&D.

Farrelly Status: On the way way top of the world.

2000: Me Myself and Irene – I saw this movie with my friend Gerald and we laughed our asses off. Jim Carrey was back and he was as funny as ever, but a weird thing happened when this movie came out – It wasn’t the highest grossing comedy of the year, which everyone thought it would be, Scary Movie was. The Wayans outshined the Farrelly’s and Jim Carrey. For whatever reason this movie didn’t click like the others. One could argue this was the slight decline of the Farrelly’s… and maybe even Jim Carrey.

Farrelly Status: At this moment they’re not on top of the world anymore, just in the clouds.

2001: Osmosis Jones – Osmosis Jones!? Oh yeah, they did an animated movie. The movie BOMBED, but you have to wonder if you can blame them because it was animated. I feel that all directors who don’t specialize in animated films should sort of get a pass when they fuck up their first one; it’s the second one you have to worry about.

Farrelly Status: They’re falling below the clouds right now… but maybe it was the animation!

2001: Shallow Hal – Shallow Jack Black gets Tony Robbins-ed and sees women in a different light, specifically Gwyneth Paltrow. There was a backlash to this movie, due to the insensitive nature - it also wasn’t incredibly funny. Maybe it was Jack Black or the general idea of the movie, but something was off.

Farrelly Status: The guys are coming back down to earth right now but it’s difficult to get a gauge on them because their movies are so out there (in a good way).

2003: Stuck on You – Wait… Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear did a movie and the premise was “Conjoined twins from Martha’s Vineyard move to Los Angeles so that one of them can pursue an acting career.” WHAT!? This is where it changed for me. I remember wanting to like this movie but I just couldn’t. Bad movie that wasn’t well received.

Farrelly Status: The Farrelly’s are officially back down to earth (but still give them some credit for being out there! Right?)

Quick side note about this movie: This says a lot about the faith actors had in the Farrelley’s. It’s not as though Damon and Kinnear were unknown.

2005: Fever Pitch – And then there was this movie. Somewhat of an anomaly because they had to change the entire script midway through because the Boston Red Sox were about to win the World Series and this premise somehow hinged on the Sox.

The good thing about this movie: It was back to somewhat of a grounded tone but the bad is that it wasn’t well received. I feel that there was this lingering question that mayyybe this movie could have been better if the whole Red Sox thing didn’t screw things up, could it be? All I know is that young Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore were in this and I don’t know if they had any chemistry. It was a good try.

Farrelly Status: The Farrelly’s haven’t moved from being back down to earth, they’re just walking around now.

2007: The Heartbreak Kid – Remember this movie? Ben Stiller and Malin Ackerman. It’s about a guy who essentially shacks up with the wrong girl and realizes it on his honeymoon. Truthfully, I vaguely remember liking this movie and I kind of wish it did better. I feel that at this moment in time the Farrelly’s had been beaten around and realized they kind of needed to get their groove back, so they went back to Stiller in a Romantic Comedy.

Although this movie wasn’t bad it didn’t do well at the box office which tell us that either a) I’m an idiot and the movie sucked or b) the Farrelly’s lost their mojo entirely. I’m going to go with letter b because it made over $100 million worldwide.

Farrelly Status: The brothers are officially searching for a hit, still on the ground and have been surpassed time and time again by other comedic directors.

2011: Hall Pass – I’m going to stand by this statement: Awesome premise but a shitty movie. When I heard about this and that it’s about husbands getting a “hall pass” from their wife, I though this was going to be awesome. Not to mention it had Owen Wilson and Jason Sudekis. But, it wasn’t awesome and the entire time I was watching I was hoping it would just get better.

This film was as though you could see the grown up Farrelly brothers. As if you could see the transformation of guys who probably have families now and are a tad bit out of touch with what made them so great in the first place.

Farrelly status: They’ve become the guys who we all hope that they remember what they’re capable of. But hey, at least they can only go up from here. Oh wait…

2012: The Three Stooges – At one point Jim Carrey, Benecio Del Toro, and Sean Penn were attached to this movie. Can you fucking imagine that!? I’ve got to hand it to the guys for sticking with this film after it went through developmental hell but if the trailers are any indication of what’s to come then I’m scared.

So, it’s the stooges with 1940’s sensibility stuck in 2012? They still poke people in the eyes? I want to shake the Farrelly’s and tell them that they were the guys who elevated slapstick in the 1990’s and now in 2012 they’re regressing! You can’t go backwards! This isn’t fashion! You gotta move forward man…forward!

The only other time I’ve felt so opposed to a film is when the Smurfs was released in 2011 … and it ended up making $560 million worldwide…

Farrelly Status: Rock. Fucking. Bottom.

2013: Dumb & Dumber part 2:

Dear Farrelly brothers,

I don’t care about the missteps you’ve had in the past. Honestly you’ve had a string of bad luck and maybe people don’t understand you, maybe you still are the duo that I thought you once were. Let me tell you something, next year you’re going to make a sequel to one of the top 10 comedies of all time and no matter what, I’m going to see it on opening weekend. If you put the movie in 3D and have a cameo from the Stooges I’m going to be sitting with my popcorn watching this movie.

I say this to you out of love: If you pull off this movie I will forgive you for everything, and so will everyone else. Yes, everything.

Truly yours,

Josh

Future Farrelly Status: Back on Top.

Channing Tatum: Movie Star?

 

I’m trying to get a gauge on Channing Tatum. This past weekend, his movie The Vow, almost snuck in first for a second week in a row, I should probably note that it not only snuck in first last week but it officially took out Denzel and Ryan Reynolds film Safe House last week. I personally think it’s a big deal when Channing “I was basically discovered for saying “I forgot my Dew”’ Tatum starts to loom in conversation with the larger figures in Hollywood.

Sure, Tatum’s movie also had Rachel McAdams as a fellow lead and The Vow is seemingly a hybrid of Dear John (Starring Tatum) and The Notebook (starring McAdams), but why do I feel like this was Tatum’s movie?

Is this guy a star? Is he the one who is brings people into the seats or is it the content of the film? I feel that Tatum should have been bigger at this point and Dear John should have done for him what The Notebook did for Ryan Gosling… or did it? As it stands now Tatum is seemingly on that fine line of where his career is going to go. I think it’s either going to skyrocket from this point or it’s always going to stand in this grey yet consistent not really a lead area.

Below is a look back at his previous films starting with Coach Carter in 05’ – I think looking at these films will shed light on where Tatum is going:

Coach Carter: Ensemble guy cast with Sam Jackson.

Supercross: Action dirt bike movie… still early in the career.

War Of The Worlds: Honestly Tatum was in this movie for about 3 seconds running from Aliens… but who cares – it’s Spielberg.

Havoc: Indie vibe with this film.

A Guide To Recognizing your Saints: Tatum’s breakout in the opinion of a lot of people. He was good.

She’s The Man: Typical rom com with Tatum attempting to be a heart throb.

Step Up: The introduction into Tatum the dancer. If women weren’t sold on his looks they were sold on the fact he could dance like a stripper… oh wait…

Battle in Seattle: What is this movie?

Step Up 2: Early cameo from Tatum reprising his role from the first Step Up.

Stop-loss: Same writer director as the academy award film “Boys Don’t Cry” – it also has a good cast but failed box office wise.

Fighting: Shirtless Tatum. People love this movie… seriously.

Public Enemies: Minor - minor - minor 10 second role in this film. Michael Mann directs it.

GI Joe: His real and only blockbuster. This film was all effects and nothing else… a feel good summer movie that in my opinion is so bad you end up watching it.

Dear John: Every woman in the world loved Tatum more than before. This is dramatic Tatum.

The Dilemma: Directed by Ron Howard starring Vince Vaughn and Kevin James. This film was a terrible flop but Tatum had a supporting role and it’s in no way his fault. His comedy wasn’t to bad.

The Son of No One: Another no idea what this movie is but it has Al Pacino in it. Who could ever blame someone for doing a Pacino film?

Ten Year: No idea what this movie was but he was a producer. It didn’t do too well and was directed by the Dear John writer.

Haywire: Steven Soderbergh directed, didn’t do too well in the box office but who the fuck cares because Soderbergh directed.

The Vow: Most recent.

The movies listed above show no evidence that Tatum is a viable go to box office guy; however what it does show is that he’s an extremely smart guy when it comes to his career for 3 major reasons:

1: He works with great directors in small roles. In War of the Worlds he basically was a featured extra but who cares it was Spielberg. In Public Enemies he was basically covered in enough make up to be a cross dresser but who cares it was Michael Mann. In The Dilemma his role was partially substantial but even better it was a Ron Howard movie. In Haywire it was an ensemble cast but that’s par for the course when dealing with Soderbergh… and it was Soderbergh!

Why does this make him a smart guy? Well it ties into…

2: He works with the same writers and directors: The Son of No One, Fighting, and A Guide to Recognizing your Saints: Same writer director. Step Up and Step Up 2: Same writer and he did a cameo in part 2. He’s doing Magic Mike, which is a Soderbergh film coming out later this year… you get the point.

Here’s why this is important – Because apparently directors really like him and will work with him again. It says a lot when someone is willing to take on smaller roles. If this were basketball he’d be called a “grinder” - the guy who really works for the points. It’s like when you go to the “networking” party trying to meet everyone and you’re uncomfortable with a drink in your hand. But in Tatum’s case he says, “fuck a drink, I’m just going to be in this movie.” Or something like that. 3: He’s trying to sculpt his resume and cover all angles of his career. Is he lover romantic guy, comedy guy, fighting guy, action guy, brooding masculine guy, dancer guy? Apparently he’s a little bit of each. I can’t remember when someone hasn’t been horrible when they tried to be the spaghetti sauce and spread themselves over genres like this.

You have to wonder if he’s going to be able to successfully pull this off, because if he will then I think you’d have to consider him a movie star at some point, right? The tough reality is: unless your name is Clooney, then box office usually determines if you’re a movie star. But Tatum seems to be floating in this middle ground where he’s (usually) in “well made” movies made by “good” people, so who cares what the box office says.

Truthfully, I’ve never been the biggest fan of Tatum but I’m starting to come around. I’m looking forward to the comedy 21 Jump Street and heard he’s great in it, and also looking forward to the new Soderbergh film.

In my quest to determine if this guy is a movie star I think the conclusion is – not yet… but he will be. He’s worked with too many people and has covered too many genres to not get a significant shot at being huge

Sundance Recap: Movies, Zen, and Hand Washing

I arrived back to LA earlier today. The 6-day Sundance adventure has concluded. Good-bye coldness, shuttle busses, thinking you know someone everywhere you go, and really nice Utah people. Hello warmth, smog, thinking you know someone everywhere you go, and sort of nice LA people. First time at Sundance was a pretty interesting experience and in a way it’s restored my faith and love for movies – My faith has a tendency to waiver every once in a while. There are some genuinely very good movies out there that are made in a very creative way, creative meaning lack of money and figuring out a way to get it on the screen. There are also a slew of movies with big name actors like Bradley Cooper, Bruce Willis, William H Macy, Helen Hunt, and Chris Rock (to name a few). It’s refreshing to see some of these actors taking on roles like the ones at Sundance.

The Zen…

A Sundance veteran whom happens to be a colleague of mine said, “You gotta just go with the flow” and called it the “Zen” of Sundance. He was right. One of the main things I loved is the potential of the unexpected. Out of the blue someone could mention they have extra tickets somewhere or quickly invite you to a party… you just gotta go with the flow. Take it in and enjoy.

The Hand Washing…

Before I get into talking about movies I think there is something that should be brought into the open – It’s the fact that people aren’t washing their hands in Park City! Yes.. I’m serious. When I first went into the bathroom and saw a few people walk out with out washing their hands, I dismissed it, and I wrote them off as gross trying not to think about it. But then I saw it again, and again, and then my colleague mentioned that he witnessed it too!

As an open germaphobe I will state that 1 – I’m not exaggerating and 2 – this was fucking disgusting. I don’t know why but there was a major lack of hands being washed at Sundance. I was thinking maybe it’s because people were in a hurry, but wait, there is no excuse for this. What person over the age of 5 doesn’t wash their hands? No wonder everyone comes back from Sundance sick. By the way – I’m not sick.

The All Things Sundance Total Recap And Random Awards:

Out of 12 movies that I saw at Sundance my top 3 are:

The Raid – Action, Action, Action!

The First Time – Romantic Comedy.

Robot & Frank – I wonder if sub consciously I’m saying I like this so much because I didn’t hear great reviews about it. I’m trying to be defiant… but I did like it.

Honorable Mention:

The Pact – Scary

The Surrogate – Great movie - Unfortunately I had to leave due to my neck hurting from sitting in the first row.

Simon Killer – Didn’t feel one way or another about this film at first but it’s stuck to me like gum on shoe and I have thought about it too often… that’s saying something.

Slamdance: The Slamdance film festival is located in the heart of Sundance and I loved what this festival brought. It’s a great atmosphere with good movies.

Best Place To Watch Sports: Maxwells. It’s a sports bar that was conveniently located around our hotel. The pizza was huge and delicious, the drinks were inexpensive, the server was from Wisconsin, and the TV’s were everywhere. Truthfully if I could have gotten into the ESPN party this answer would have been different.

Worst Place To Watch Sports: Maxwells. Everything I said above insert right here, and I wanted in to the ESPN party.

Best Moment: The unexpectedness of The Raid.

Worst Moment: Being stuck on main street after having a bit too much to drink watching my phone battery drain and realizing I’m overly dependent on technology.

The Narrative Feature I Really Want To See But Didn’t: V/H/S. I heard this was very good and a great new take on found footage. This was just picked up by Magnolia for roughly $1 million. See it when you can.

The Documentary I Really Want To See But Didn’t: Searching For Sugar Man. Apparently this documentary is about a musician in the 70’s that didn’t do well in America but through a string of events a bootlegged album made it’s way to South Africa. He became a massive success in South Africa with his antiestablishment sound but he never knew. Meanwhile he was floundering in America, ultimately burning himself on stage one night committing suicide.

He never knew the massive effect he had in South Africa, he was as big as the Beatles to the states, and he never made it in America. It’s pretty tragic.

Nicest Person Award: Tie – Between random Southwest Airlines chick we met that gave us the free tickets or the entire crew in Park City. Seriously, every volunteer was very nice. I was actually surprised at how well they were handling everyone. If it were me, I would have lost my shit trying to deal with everyone. If you don’t know what I’m talking about – Sundance has volunteers helping everyone out telling them bus routes or directing people into movies. They keep things moving… somehow.

The One Line I Didn’t Hear But Thought I Would: “Oh, the next time I’ll come back is when I have a movie in the festival.”

Ultimately it was a great experience, and good to know how I’ll tackle it in future years. Next time around I want that ESPN party. It funny because while you’re attending Sundance it’s business mixed with pleasure, and it’s obvious. It’s absolutely an atmosphere that you have to be around to understand, and having said that I could see how someone would love it or hate it.

Either way, it was a great time with great movies. I’m curious to see what movies penetrate the mainstream. Last year’s Sundance gem Another Earth has so far made a domestic total of roughly $1.8 million, that’s not including DVD/Streaming sales. Either way, that’s terrible… But that’s not what it’s about, right? It’s about the film, not the ultimate return, right?

I wish that were true.

Crazy Action Movie, Snow, and Football.

Let’s just jump right into this, yesterday I witnessed one of the craziest action movies I’ve ever seen: The Raid.

The Raid was 1 of 4 I checked out and it was batshit crazy. Not sure if you’ve ever seen the movie Ong Bak but it’s like that with guns. If you haven’t seen that let me just lay out the scenario for you:

A swat team raids a safe house that’s full of killers and drug dealers. Oh, and everyone in the safe house knew they were coming.

You remember in The Matrix when Neo and Trinity entered the building in their trench coats and go nuts, firing guns at anything that moved. As that scene was going on you couldn’t help but realize that you’ve never witnessed this before. Okay, it wasn’t that intense, but almost was, it definitely had its moments that actually made the crowd start clapping.

The movie premiered at the Toronto International film festival and was purchased by Sony Classic, so keep an eye out for it.

Bindlestiffs: Another solid movie that wasn’t at Sundance but was showing at Slamdance. Below is the premise (which I think is great) you decide if you’d want to see it:

Three high school virgins, suspended from school on a bogus graffiti charge, flee to the inner city in an attempt to live out the plot of The Catcher in the Rye - a book they neither have read nor understand. BINDLESTIFFS documents their struggles along the way as they surrender their virginities to vagrants, prostitutes, and crack fiends. Hot on their tail is Charlie, the deranged school security guard. Under the impression that the boys are planning a school shooting, he takes the law into his own hands to stop them and save America.

Honorable mention to Robot and Frank with Frank Langella. It’s a film set in the near future, and Langella gets a robot to watch after him. I’m not exactly sure how it was received but I liked it. I thought it was very consistent, even with a slow pace.

Random Observations:

My shoes are incredibly destroyed from the snow. They were once leather, now they’re basically white. I was planning to put the picture of my shoes in this post but want to refrain from being that guy.

Speaking of the snow – it was falling yesterday. I had a flashback of Wisconsin back in the day. Everyone seems to be taking it in stride, but I guess they closed off the i-80 from Salt Lake City coming into Park City last night. Fuck it, picture included.

The Social Scene: The great thing about being here is that while you’re out everybody suspects you may actually be someone else so patrons are incredibly eager to spark conversation for no reason. Last night I was out alone and stopped at 2 different pubs and 1 bar, when you’re this guy in LA you teeter on being lonely creepy guy, which actually is the case most places. On that note, I think people drinking at the bar by themselves gets a bad stigma; I personally love it and almost prefer it. Wait, does it get a bad stigma? Am I projecting some inner issue? Whatever the case, Park City is a great social environment.

If I didn’t already know it, I’ve entered the word of needing to be completely connected: Last night my cell phone died and had a near freak out about what to do. Sure, it was 5 degrees in a snowstorm and I didn’t know where I was, that may have played into me needing my cell phone charged. But my incredible need to be fully charged may not have been healthy.

Today is a day of football. I will surely be pouring a little out in memory of my Green Bay Packers. Football predictions:

Patriots over Ravens 31-24

49ers over Giants 21-20

Patriots VS 49ers in the Super Bowl.

Below is the trailer for The Raid. Watch it, but be warned… it’s violent.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWlmhMSnVdM&w=560&h=315]

Food Coma and Observations

“Look Again” hmmm not too sure if I’m crazy about the Sundance slogan – more on that later.

Full discretion: I’m sitting in my hotel in a partial food coma watching “The Label Maker” episode of Seinfeld… it’s so great.

The short time at the Sundance Film Festival has been good so far. From what I understand this weekend is when people start filing in for parties and screenings then it starts to slow down as the week progresses. The things I’ve seen – Lots and lots of transports from different places (obviously) it’s actually like Los Angeles just picked up and relocated to Park City.

Anyway, here are a few early on observations of Sundance:

Getting back to the 2012 slogan: “Look Again” – Seriously, I don’t get it. I sort of do but I just don’t like it. I Googled to find out what the hell it means - I got nothing.

It’s a bit more spread out than I realized. In my head I had this vision that everything was very close but that’s not necessarily the case. However you can take a shuttle and it gets you where you need to be pretty quickly.

I want to go skiing while I’m here but there is almost no snow.

There are a lot of people who work on films: This is obvious but it’s just a reminder. There are tons of people walking around with passes and it’s just a constant reminder of how big things are, especially the industry.

Slamdance is great. Yes, Slamdance. If you’re unaware there is another pretty great festival going on right now called Slamdance and its dead smack in the middle of Sundance. Apparently 4 guys whose films were rejected from Sundance in 1995 started it and it’s been thriving. They have great films, and one would argue they’re as good as Sundance films. A couple of the filmmakers that have been discovered via Slamdance: Chris Nolan (Dark Knight), Marc Foster (Monsters Ball) and films that have premiered at Slamdance: Paranormal Activity and King of Kong (To name a few).

Slamdance is basically part of Sundance now, whether they like it or not. But I think Sundance likes it.

I need to rest. Today was just an intro to the cold world. Tomorrow is going to be movies all day long. This might sound a bit nuts but the main movie I want to see here is called “The First Time” by John Kasdan (In the Land Of Women with Adam Brody). Why is this nuts? Well, it’s a Romantic Comedy, and truth be told I love the romantic comedy, also I read the script and it was great.

I love this episode of Seinfeld.

Sundance Week.

This is my pre warning that work is sending me to Sundance from the 20^th to the 26^th. Odd’s are that the majority of my blogs are going to be Sundance related so I officially give you: The first ever Joshford blog: Sundance Week Edition. This is my first time heading to the Film Festival and all anyone keeps telling me is “Go to parties and expect to get sick.” Wow. Sounds like a ton of fun. Occasionally you may see a random post about something non-Sundance related or me complaining about the Packers. Maybe I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and sleep type a blog entitled: “I’m having a nightmare about the Packers and they lost to the Giants.” But for the most part expect pictures, movie reviews, and the general thought of the expected Cluster in Park City, Utah for the Festival.

If you’re going and looking to getting sick and have plenty of drinks, be sure to seek me out… apparently that’s what goes on at Sundance.

Last note: Any suggestions on movies to check out please let me know.

The Actual Last Note: Or any suggestions on anything, please let me know.

The Celebrity Adjustment

 

I saw the preview for a new show on the food network called “Rachel VS Guy Celebrity Cook off.” It has a cool little hook: Rachel Ray - a food enthusiast and in some ways a mini Oprah goes head to head against Guy Fieri - best known for having a horrible hair color that works on him, and also a NY Times best seller. Both Rachel and Guy have their teams duel by cooking, pretty simple, right?

Rachel’s team consists of: Herself, Aaron Carter, Summer Sanders, Lou Diamond Phillips, and Taylor Dayne.

Guy’s team consists of: Himself, Cheech Marin, Joey Fatone, Coolio, and Alyssa Campanella.

All seems reality show standard in the team VS team format, right? Yes, but something’s off... Oh right, the “celebrity” aspect of it. It took me a minute to swallow that the players on these teams are considered celebrities. In my world the viable celebrities on this show are: Fatone, Phillips, Cheech, and give or take Coolio. I honestly didn’t even know who Campanella was, and the only way I identified her is because she was actually wearing her “Miss USA” sash.

Not that I’m trying to take anything away from any of these people because they’ve obviously worked to get where they are, but seeing them sparked a thought process which has also been a topic of conversation for far too long. I think I have been confused with what exactly a celebrity is and where “celebrity” is going.

On a general ground rule I once associated celebrities as someone you’d know by face (that you don’t personally know). Someone that you don’t have to say “Oh that’s the person from…” At least that’s what it used to be. As cable grew it became impossible to keep up with viable actors from different shows, and the same goes for musicians. Over time a few adjustments to the celebrity rule came into place and I left some wiggle room as to which I associated with celebrity. Then as online videos grew the rule changed even more and we started to have “internet celebrities.”

As new celebrities in different mediums popped up along the way the allure and illusion of celebrity has all but faded. We once looked at someone and wanted to know what they’re doing at all times, and wondered what their lives could possibly be like. But now we have so many shows, magazines, and social networking platforms bringing us together that a peek into the lives of a actor is turning into more than just a peek, we’re being completely welcomed into their personal garbage that soon they’re “just like us.”

I personally love the openness that we currently have. The beauty of it is that we could all avoid it if we wanted too but we don’t. Celebrities have the option not to have Twitter feeds or make sex tapes, but they still do: And rightfully so – it helps their personal brand.

My issue with all of this is the lines that have been blurred into what a celebrity is. There is no fucking way I can associate Clooney and Aaron Carter both as celebrities. But maybe I have too? I looked into the definition of celebrity to be one of those annoying people who needs specifics and this is what Dictionary.com gave me:  A famous or well known person.

I need something more. This is what Wikipedia gave me:  A person who has a prominent profile and commands a great degree of public fascination and influence in day-to-day media.

By these definitional standards an argument could be made that anyone who has influence on the Web is a celebrity and team Rachel Ray is in fact built with celebrities. But it leads me to ask - Why is it that we have an unspoken understanding of celebrity value? I feel that if you’re a celebrity than you’re a celebrity… How have we come to various degrees of how famous you are?  If you’re scratching at the heels to barely be identified as a celebrity, shouldn’t that tell you something?

Should celebrity be measured by influence? Exposure? Talent?

An adjustment is coming – it has too. In an industry with so many labels we’re going to get to a point where you’re going to be labeled for what you are. If you’re a celebrity in your particular medium than that’s how you’ll be labeled: Movie celebrity, TV celebrity, Internet celebrity, Writing celebrity, Reality celebrity…. There are just too many transparencies in the world to not get to this point at some time.

Until any celebrity adjustment comes we should all enjoy our celebrity reality shows and the reality shows that create celebrities. Enjoy this time now because soon we’re all going to be blended together and to truly be a celebrity you’ll really need to stand out. We’re in the 2^nd golden age of celebrity.

*** Didn’t mean to pick on Rachel and Guy, the show seems entertaining.

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes - I will defend you forever.

Me talking to my girlfriend on August 5^th:

Me: Hey, you know what I really want to see?

Her: What?

Me: Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes.

Her: Let’s do it.

Me: Those Apes look like they want to fuck something up.

August 6^th:

We walk into the Arclight Cinema located here in Hollywood and about 2 hours later I was trying to figure out what just happened. How did I just get blindsided by complete awesomeness and not even know it. Was it the amazing arclight popcorn? Maybe. Odds are it was a combination of things; 1) great environment 2) the popcorn 3) the movie itself.

I remember when I saw Jurassic Park and gazing at the Brontosaurus for the first time, you know the moment when Dr. Grant and Dr. Sattler hop out of the jeep mouths agape? Well, that’s basically how a bunch of the kids in the theater were when watching Apes, myself included. I’m not saying this is in the same ballpark as Jurassic Park, I’m just saying it had some moments that conjured up complete excitement.

I honestly think that Rise Of The Planet of the Apes is a movie that 13 year olds will remember and hopefully defend one day. When I say defend a movie I mean that when you hear a friend 10 years from now say “That movie was okay” it’s mandatory that you jump in and say “No dickhead, that movie is better than okay, and I’m here to defend the apes.”

There is a major component how this became an instant defendable movie, and it’s because it’s a movie that caught me (and others) off guard. I wanted to see the movie but I didn’t know how good it was. The one thing that can kill or make and movie great is expectations, you know when your friend see’s a film and talks it up like it’s the second coming then you see it and it isn’t as good because of expectations? Yeah, well I was the friend talking it up.

The expectation variable is so overlooked so many times when discussing film and engaging in arguments. The same argument could be used about professional athletes but I’m sticking to films for the moment. I got to thinking about movies that I hold in the:

Little to no expectations and I’ll defend to the death category:

The Sixth Sense: If you’re one of those people who say, “I knew the ending” I call you a liar and I would pay big money to hop into a DeLorean and watch it with you for the first time. When I saw this I was on a vacation in Denver and the family decided to see a movie. I didn’t choose this, everyone else did, but when I walked out I officially saw dead people and this moment sparked a never ending defending to M. Knight Shymalangagagagagagan.

American Pie: I was just about to start high school when this movie came out and it couldn’t have been much more entertaining than it was, 50 years later I’ll probably see the 4^th installment which comes out some time soon. By the way American Pie was made for $11 million and made over $100 million (Domestic only).

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective: Undeniable classic. I don’t think a single human besides Jim Carrey and Dan Marino thought this movie was going to be good. It was better than good… I still quote it.

The Truman Show: Since we’re talking Jim Carrey I should bring this up. This was Carrey’s push into seriousness and he brought it. This movie is so relevant right now; I could actually see this happening in today’s entertainment environment.

The Other Guys: It’s hard to say there is a below the radar Will Ferrell / Mark Wahlberg movie but this was it. I saw this movie in a not so crowded theater and I may have been the loudest person laughing.

The Bourne Identity: This may seem ludicrous to think that Bourne had low expectations but I vividly remember nobody thought Good Will Hunting Damon was going to be James Bond 2.0 – but he was. Aside from Hunting this was the biggest game changer for Damon.

Taken: Since we’re talking Bourne, Taken would be how Jason Bourne is in 20 years with a family. Taken is the ultimate word of mouth movie, and here’s how you know:

Opening weekend: $24 Million

2^nd Weekend: $20 Million  (-16.7% change in gross)

3^rd Weekend: $18 Million  (-7.6% change in gross from 2^nd weekend)

4^th Weekend: $21 Million (+6.2% change from gross in 3^rd weekend)

This is insane. For a movie to decrease by that small of a percentage each week is considered an accomplishment beyond accomplishments. THEN for it to increase in it’s 4^th week is even more nuts - Not to mention it’s lone star power was Liam Neeson who isn’t exactly Will Smith.

Starship Troopers: At this point in life this movie is fucking terrible and maybe even laughable… But I’ll still defend Johnny Rico and him killing bugs.

Let Me In: Matt Reeves’ follow up to Cloverfield. If you haven’t seen this movie be prepared to be incredibly on edge.

I’ll stop there and remind you that Apes came out on DVD yesterday. If you haven’t seen it – see it. If you have seen it and want to talk poorly about it come find me so I can defend it like Cesar defending his Apes. Hail Cesar.

Twilight: Breaking Dawn - I Want My Two Hours Back.

Two things just happened. 1- my girlfriend just asked me if I’d like some wine and 2 – my friend just text me that he’s watching The Godfather 2. The text he sent me reminded me that movies are good, and some movies are fucking awesome -The Godfather part 2. Thank God he reminded me because I just walked out of the new Twilight movie, and for the first time in a while felt embarrassed. Embarrassed for the actors, the director, the author, the man responsible for CGI, myself, myself for not walking out, and the movie as a whole.

I need my glass of wine.

To be clear we need to state a few facts: This was part 4 of the Twilight “saga”, it’s currently raking in money like Wall Street, kids under the age of 18 love it, and it’s got a following that doesn’t indicate any reason for slowing down.

I’m trying to wrap my head around the absurdity of this movie and think I’m coming close to getting a handle on how terrible it is. I need to be clear that I didn’t see this movie out of boyfriend obligation; I saw this movie because I had an (hidden) interest.

I’ve seen the past 3 movies – my girlfriend and I did a marathon about 6 months ago and watched all 3 at home. Cheesy? Yes. But I could see the interest and truthfully engaged in the age-old debate of Team Edward VS Team Jacob.

Side Note: If at this point you don’t know what I’m talking about stop reading and save yourself. The references only get worse.

As I was saying… I was team Edward, yeah that’s right. I was Team Mr. Passionate and thought that Jacob “Teen Wolf” Lautner was kind of a loser. I never felt like the movies did a good job with his character (still don’t) but I do think the marketing was brilliant with the Ed VS Jake angle.

Why is this particular marketing important? The reality is, is that’s all the movie had to hang its hat on, I think they knew they were exploited at the utter shittiness of what was happening and the acting so they created this great heart throb VS heart throb thing when it actually should have been Team “Bella is a raging bitch”. For the record I’ve since changed to Team Jacob.

After seeing this movie I had to question what it was about the other films that made me keep watching. If the previous movies were as bad as this I would have never stepped foot in the theater.

Was it the director? Maybe, but probably not – Bill Condon was new to the franchise but they haven’t had the same director on any of the past films… which, actually says a lot. For the record I do find it odd that Condon is known for Chicago, Kinsey, and Dreamgirls. Seriously? That’s the director you wanted for this movie? Was it the writer? No, Melissa Rosenberg has written all of the films. The Actors? No, all the same.

Then it hit me! The only logical answer was that I watched all 3 Twilights in my own home while drinking wine and pausing as I pleased. That had to be it. The small screen doesn’t exploit bad movies like the big screen does. Also, lets not forget I was drinking, which always helps lighten the mood.

If you’ve seen this movie then you know what I’m talking about and agree with me. If you’ve seen it and don’t agree with me then you’re either attached to the movie or are under the age of 16. If you haven’t seen this movie … consider yourself lucky. However, IF you’re debating on seeing it then it means you’ve seen the other 3… or dating someone… either way you’re going into the movie and I apologize in advance.

If what you just read above hasn’t convinced you, you need not worry. Because I present to you the Why Twilight Part 4 was Horrible List:

***Of course there are Spoilers***

The Acting: I never like to get too negative about anyone who is doing what they want to do, but that’s not going to stop me right now. Prime Target numero uno – Taylor Lautner.

Dude, congratulations for having a He-Man body at age 19 but I want you to watch this movie and honestly say you did a good job… you can’t.

I feel like Lautner picked up the script, circled his scenes, didn’t finish reading the script itself, then came in and did his scenes without caring about what’s happening and why it’s happening. One of the lead characters should never be this bad… he just shouldn’t. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart made me depressed by their half assed attempt to love each other and have a baby. And the supporting cast was ehhhh… okay.

CGI: The Budget was $110 MILLION – why does this movie look so CGI-ish?

The Wolves Talking To Each Other Scene: If you’ve ever watch Mighty Morphin Power Rangers then you’d remember a character named Zordon. He was this big head that had a large echoy deep voice. When he talked to the MMPR it made sense – he was Zordon.

Apparently the producers of Twilight may have watched MMPR because when the wolves were arguing with each other - that’s how they sounded, like a stupid Zordon. It was almost uncomfortable to watch these Wolves have such terrible voices.

Bella: I’ve had it. This chick mopes around like everything in her world is crumbling every moment of every day when in reality she may have the easiest life of any on screen 18 year old.

The Melodramatic Music: Did any one else notice how often this movie sounded like a bad soap opera?

Breaking this into 2 parts: This was “Part 1” of this particular movie. Why? This was a talkfest that could have been summed up in 25 minutes. Nothing happened in this movie. I could sum it up in 10 seconds… seriously… no really I could… Fuck it, here it is:

Bella marries Edward – Bella unexpectedly becomes preggers with Edwards Vampire child – Jacob leaves his pack and ultimately sides with the Cullens – When giving birth, Bella dies but Edward gives her his venom which, ultimately brings her back to life but now she’s a vampire – Jacob is now protecting their child with his Wolf imprint.

How long was that? 10-12 seconds?

I need to cool off and try to salvage this movie in some way shape or form – it won’t be easy. I know I’m going to come to a crossroad in my life when the next movie comes out and I have to debate seeing it in the theater or not.

Dammit! I’ve invested so much in these movies – no turning back. I know I’ll end up seeing the next one just so I know how it ends… I’ll bring the wine.

I went and checked out the West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval - If you’ve never been I suggest y

I went and checked out the West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval - If you’ve never been I suggest you check it out… It gets kind of crazy.

Tower Heist ... You Almost Had Us At $60.

If you didn’t know, last week Universal announced that their film, Tower Heist, which opens in theaters on November 4th would be released to VOD (Video On Demand aka Pay tv) 3 weeks later for the measly price of $59.99. For the sake of things lets just say $60 dollars… they’re not fooling anyone.

When this was first reported a few things happened:

First – People were confused that anyone would pay $60 for a movie 3 weeks later.

Second – People started to wonder how this would change things down the road with releases post-theater run. It’s interesting because there isn’t nor has there ever been some magical number that says when a movie comes out after it’s theater run. It seems to always change. For instance, I want to know why X-Men: First Class is on DVD but Super 8 is nowhere to be found. Weren’t they in the theater at the same time? Give me my F’n JJ / Spielberg film.

Third – This started the inevitable process of people never having to leave their living rooms and drastically altering the movie going experience. This is a whole other can of worms… we’ll just stick to Tower Heist.

Earlier this week exhibitors (theater owners) went bat shit crazy and strong-armed Universal by saying “You release this 3 weeks later, then we’ll boycott this film.” Universal took note and pulled the 3 weeks later release date, which probably felt awfully gratifying for a lot of theater owners but we all know they’ll lose this war in the long term.

When this all went down nobody seemed to care, in fact I think people were happy because when you put the words MOVIE and 60 DOLLARS together we black out due to not being able to comprehend the concept. With nobody getting behind the VOD release Universal basically lost early on. All the talk was “Who the fuck would pay $60?” as opposed to “Hmmm, I might pay that.”

This is what Universal did wrong in their little experiment… And how they could have made this work, and like always – it’s a money thing:

First off $60 is insane for this movie… Or is it? The argument is – “If you and your wife take your kids to the movie it can come to just as much” which is actually kind of true. Quick financial breakdown:

Husband and Wife with 2 kids at $10 a ticket on a Friday night: $40.

Popcorn: $6

Drinks: $8

Candy: $4

Grand Total: $58

Not to mention any variables of paying for parking… extra candy for the bitching kid… more drinks. You may actually top $60 dollars going to see a 2 hour movie.

What they should have done was start much lower… say… $39.99, ahem, $40. Sure, lower is better when it comes to spending but Tower Heist is sort of a perfect storm in a few ways from the outside looking in. It has early positive reviews, an apparent resurgence from Eddie Murphy (for the 18th time), and Ben Stiller.

The marquee stars are interesting because they appeal to such a wide audience. People can choose to remember Eddie Murphy as the guy who did kick ass stand up, Coming to America, SNL, and The Nutty Professor… And then happily forget about Pluto Nash and Bowfinger. Then you have Stiller who’s still appealing to the crowd who remembers him from Something about Mary and the younger generation who knows him from A Night at The Museum. OHHH not to mention one is black and the other is white which equals… BIG AUDIENCE! For the sake of talking about cast lets not forget that Ferris Bueller is in this movie and so is Michael Pena. Man, this movie is covering all it’s race angles.

If you start low with your initial price when dealing with this movie people will want it and it starts to look like a good deal, I’m not totally sure people have accepted they’re blowing so much money at the movies quite yet. Once people start to want it then you get people on your side with every social media outlet known to mankind. Suddenly we want to watch Tower Heist and every other movie in 3 weeks… or else.

Universal dropped the ball here by about 20 bucks. They could have seriously started to alter things if not by a lot then juuust a little. A little nudge if you would. It seems like all Universal did was let the public side with the exhibitors.

If nothing else the door has been cracked opened. This was the first major studio film to really test these waters like it did. If Tower Heist doesn’t manage to CPR Eddie Murphy’s career then we can look back at it as the movie that attempted the inevitable paradigm shift that’s slowly taking place.

…And it made us realize that it’s fucking expensive for a night at the movies.

Random moment of nostalgic awesome movie appreciation.

Random moment of nostalgic awesome movie appreciation.

Spielberg talks about the future of cinema (by

Spielberg talks about the future of cinema (by qwert1267)